I still love him.

“And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me.  We both knew it, right away.

And as the years went on, things got more difficult–we were faced with more challenges.  I begged him to stay.  Try to remember what we had at the beginning.

He was charismatic, magnetic, electric and everybody knew it.  When he walked in, every woman’s head turned, everyone stood up to talk to him.  He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself.

I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.  And in that way I understood him and I loved him.

I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

And I still love him.  I love him.”

He texted me the other day.  I was already having a really rough day; it had been exactly 4 months since he left me.  I don’t know if he knew that or not.  He told me I don’t have to respond if I don’t want, but that he’s really sorry he hurt me and he misses me.

I asked him to call me last night.  Everything felt so normal…

I miss him too, but I only said it in so many words.  He hasn’t changed.  He may feel sorry for hurting me, but he continues to do so.  He tells me he hasn’t been able to connect with his new partner in the same way we had, and that he misses being with me.  But we both know that means nothing.

He keeps dragging my feelings back into this mess everytime he thinks about me.  He breaks me and drops subtle clues about all the things they do–all the things we did, or promised we’d do.  I’ve been replaced.  Essentially, he reaches out to me every now and again to make sure I remember that.

He still loves me.  It’s not hard to tell.  He just refuses to acknowledge it and insists on making me relive it.

I still love him.  And these lyrics describe us.  He struggles between being a good man and being here for me, and living his life and having a good time.  I guess he’s chosen his path.  And now I continue down mine…

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