I love him. I love him more than I could have ever even realized while I was still with him. And why? He didn’t let me.
I am so intoxicated with him. I wanted to know everything about him, and experience everything with him. I wanted, and still want, so desperately, to be a part of him in every way.
He never let me… He never let me be a part of his social circle; meet his family and friends. He never let me see things with him, or even through him. He was distant, and ruthless in keeping me a separate variable in his life. I just wanted to be his everything the way he had become mine. I just wanted to know that I was worth being someone important to him infront of the side of his life he kept from me.
I didn’t know I could ever fall so fleetingly for someone. I didn’t know that I’d come into a place where I never anticipated him ever not being in my life, and I’m so sad now.
I don’t know why I am not what he needs. I don’t know what I did. I don’t know why I am not the person he needs in his life anymore.
I really wanted everything for him, and for us. I just wanted us to be real and be in love, surrounded by the people that loved us. I just wanted to be acknowledged. All I’ve ever wanted is to just be acknowledged…
How do I move past this? How do I live my life knowing that this man has chosen to live his next to someone else? How can I bear this any longer?
How do I ever kiss another man, and see his naked body, and accept his warmth and intimacy, when I will never relent the memories of you…
Why do I love you so endlessly?