–Inspiration by Shii. Silly, but this is something that has always touched me since I’d first heard it.
The form in which I’d heard this song was through a video posted within albinoblacksheep ages ago. It was called “Shii’s Song”. Though I believe the song itself is called Wind’s Nocturne and was first heard on a Playstation game called Lunar: Silver Star Song.
Either way, the song has always seemed very fitting. I’ve always felt like the song was in fact my song! Take a listen?–
I don’t know. I always feel as though I am waiting. I am waiting for some spectacle. Some skipped heartbeat. Some star. I always dream for when it will come, and what it will look like. I feel foolish that I am so consumed by this waiting. What is it that I’m waiting for?
What if whatever it is that I am waiting for isn’t even coming? What if it isn’t real? Will my dreams fade to nothing? When my life ebbs the way it has been this past year, I know that I need to keep faith for a brighter horizon. But I fail to believe there is hope.
Is there something greater watching over me? Is destiny real? Is there a purpose and a path in this life that I am following, even though I cannot see it? Am I making something of myself? I know, I know that I should follow my heart, but at times I feel like there is such a huge part of it that is missing. I don’t even know what my heart desires.
Where am I to find what I have lost of myself? Will I ever be happy without knowing? Will I ever feel purpose without knowing how to pursue my heart?
It is with these questions that my mind begs to wonder–is my star to come? Is there some all-encompassing answer for me somewhere out there? And in what context will I find it? Is my star a man, a career, a friend, a passion? Myself? I so desperately want to know what I am missing out on.
The question marks in my life are tiresome. And they are tireless. I need to know why I have been so broken for so long. Why is this song something that would make sense to someone who were only a child when they first heard it?
Nonetheless, I am inspired. I want to know that–even though I’ve yet to find my star–I am still searching for it. Perhaps it is time to begin that search.