Writing here used to bring me what little solace I could find. I could write anything. Everything. I could summarize all my emotions for the day, week, month into a block of text and move past them. I could preserve them in this foreign body of mine and work towards… stability.
I am struggling with my words.
Writing hasn’t been easy for me lately. I have contemplated coming here a great many times since my last post and everything just fizzles. My thoughts don’t make as much sense right in front of me as they do in my head. The quiet is so noisy.
I feel like I am disappearing. Parts of me are lacking clarity and I spend a lot of time drifting. I can’t really elaborate what I mean by that.
I don’t know what else to contribute right now. I just want something here. I feel like I could vanish at any moment and I want some trace of what is going on.
I guess that’s everything. For the me that reads this in the near future: You are still a captive. He is everywhere. Where are you?