Tag Archives: Sailor Moon

The art of never letting go–

Sailor Moon is literally just everything to me.

I remember watching the show a lot with my brother when we were little.  It only seemed to air at my grandma’s on WB4Kids or something at the time.  I’m sure it aired on YTV at home, but I don’t recall ever finding it.

He grew out of it pretty quickly once Pokémon really hit the school playgrounds.  I used to rent the VHS episodes with my sister in his stead and watch it at home with her.  She was too young to really remember it, but she loved Sailor Venus because she was obsessed with the colour “peach” at the time and refused to believe Venus’ skirt was orange.  (In all honesty though, my brother and I based our favourites on colours as well–his being Sailor Mars for red and mine being Sailor Jupiter for green).

I don’t know why I loved the show or these girls so much, but they really were something special to me back in the day.  Eventually I switched to good ol’ Pokémon as well though.  My brother decidedly began denying he’d ever watched Sailor Moon, my sister forgot it ever existed, and Pokémon had really cool video games, so on I went with my life.

In the fall of 2005 I met my very best friend.  By this point the Pokémon mania had died down as well, and I only continued to play the video games (even to this day!).  I was nearing the end of my obsession with Inuyasha–mostly just because I’d lost track of where I was and missed a bunch of episodes.  My friend was in love with this anime and we briefly bonded over it before going through the emotional middle school roller coaster of friends to enemies to friends all in a weeks worth of time over and over and over again.

In the summer of ’07 I learned of her obsession with Sailor Moon, and at this point it had been almost a decade since I’d even heard of it.  So I decided to watch the first season on Youtube.

So so many memories came flooding back.  The music, the voice actors, the transformations and attacks.  I remember recalling that Jupiter was my favourite as a kid, and anxiously awaited her arrival.  By the time Mars showed up in episode 7 or so, I knew Jupiter had to show up soon!  I didn’t realize Jupiter wouldn’t show up until episode 21, so I started getting this crazy vibe that Molly was Sailor Jupiter around the time Neflite started to believe she was Sailor Moon.  Molly became my absolute favourite side-character as a result of my confusion!!

So watching season 1 turned into watching season 2, and that turned into trying to watch season 3, but I could never find it on Youtube.  So, I bought the entire series.  It arrived and I spent the entire fall-winter season of the 10th grade watching Sailor Moon.

Who am I kidding.  I’ve re-watched it ever year since then as well!

In early 2011, my best friend and I discovered a fan translation of the manga, and we both read that for the first time.

I think later that year, the official English translation was announced and began slowly being released as well.

At this point, the Sailor Moon hype had returned full force and news of an anime revival started flooding in for years until it finally released earlier this month!

Sailor Moon is… eternal.  I feel like these girls and the themes and morals they stand for will be with me forever to help guide me through my days.

Usagi’s fears of pressing forward through fulfilling a role she never had a say in.  Ami’s struggle to discover who she is and what defines her.  Rei’s conflict of emotions from hiding her vulnerabilities behind her confidence.  Mako’s complex between her perceived masculinity and her feminine self.  Minako’s pursuit of being anything but underwhelming.  And even Haruka and Michiru’s gender themes and sexuality, Hotaru’s struggles with her health and goodness in spite of inherent evil, or Setsuna’s loyalties and lonely destiny.

Each of these girls present struggle or a conflict that any person, boy and girl alike, will go through.  And despite all of it, they never fail to be beautiful, wonderful people.

I hope the whole concept of Sailor Moon is reincarnated forever for all young people to be influenced by.  May we all master the art of never letting go, in the name of the moon!

 

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From Sailor Scout to scouted for modelling–

Today I was approached by a woman working under a relatively well known modelling company.

Mind=blown.

She told me I had awesome bone structure and the right body.  She left me her card, she left me her number, she took a picture of my face–from head on and both profiles.  She asked my height.  She asked if I’ve ever travelled.  She blew my mind.

I wasn’t really sure if today even happened.  Honestly?  It wasn’t supposed to happen.  I was noticed at work, and I wasn’t supposed to work today.  I took a friend’s shift because she couldn’t work it.

Weirder yet?  Someone else didn’t show up for work today, so I had to come in earlier than expected.  I wasn’t showered, and I felt repulsive.  I was in overtime already when I discovered that my next coworker this afternoon was accidently scheduled alone, so I stayed with her an extra hour or so.  In that last bit of time that I wasn’t supposed to work, on this day I wasn’t supposed to come in at all, it happened.  It happened when reality said it shouldn’t have, as though karma had said it should.

I don’t know though.  Obviously there’s a definite appeal.  There’s an attraction to being attractive.  But I’m just a small town homebody.  When I dream of a future where I’m happy, I am in the countryside.  Maybe I live on a farm.  Maybe I help out where I can or [try] to cook big meals for my husband and children.  I draw on my desk by the window under the sunlight.  I don my journal in the same spot by light of the moon and stars.

When I am happy, I am not withdrawn, but within.  I am within myself.  I know my heart to be a beautiful place, inspired by the memories of my youth and the nature of which I perceive my surroundings.

Maybe someday I want to nurture these same romances within my children.  Maybe someday I want to build blanket forts and snuggle with my kittens and kidlings under the safety of my intimate world of thought.  I want to watch them grow under the same lessons and stories I’ve taken to heart.

Who knows, maybe I’ll watch every episode of Sailor Moon with them, and watch them take different lessons away.  Maybe I’ll watch them grow to be independant and driven.  Maybe they will be models and doctors and artists and heroes.

I’m not sure I’m cut out for being inspired by another’s drive.  I think maybe I’d like to drive another’s inspiration.

I still don’t know though.  Just because I was approached, it doesn’t mean anything serious will come of it.  And even if something did, could I part with my beautiful kittens and pursue a life that is anything but internally lived?

Shutter Bugged

Awkwardly placed ribbons.

Sailor Moon–“Shutter Bugged”.  The only episode I vividly remember from my childhood.  Really, the only episode I even vaguely remember.

I don’t know why it stands out so much for me.  But I remember the first time I rewatched the series since I was a child, I waited in anticipation for Serena to appear with her awkward swimsuit, cute yellow ribbons strewn purposefully about.  It turns out she forgot to put moth balls in her drawer, so she had to use ribbons to cover the holes in her swimsuit!

I started thinking recently, however.  Why is it that out of a whole series, some 160 episodes released in the english language, that I only remember this one episode?  Was it special?  Was it especially memorable?  Not really.  Everything else just came to pass I guess.

Maybe my ex will just come to pass too.  Maybe someday I’ll look back and only vaguely remember the way he used to smile at me.  Maybe this will make it easier to move on, or maybe it will make it easier to forget what he’s done to me and want him in my life again someday.

I guess today, in this moment, it doesn’t reallly matter.  I’m still at a loss for words, and he’s still not in my life by his own volition.

Someday I will find a greater peace within myself.  I still hope to realize a place where, though this person was of great importance to me, my fading memories will have finally released me.  A place where I can rediscover what it means to know someone who cares.  But for now, I’m content rediscovering my favourite childhood hero–only 5 more episodes until Sailor Jupiter comes thundering in!

A crepuscular reflection.

It’s the dead of night.  He awakens in a panicked sweat, the cool breeze from the window burning his dampened skin.  It was another nightmare.

He’s been having them frequently as of late.  His dreams are a fog of sorrow and broken memories; her lifeless eyes haunt him throughout.  He holds the photo of her that he keeps on his nightstand.  There is a crack through her face that stretches from the shadows of the frame through the glisten of the moon’s reflection.  She is broken.

He feels guilty.  He doesn’t want this for her. There is a reason for her unhappiness, and his nightmares spoil her faith in his guidance.  He feels helpless; worthless even.

He leaves her.

She doesn’t understand now–maybe she never will–but this is for the better.  She can live her life, and be free from the man who will hide her light from the world.

He rests against the window sill, a gentle wind brushing the hair from his dewy forehead.  He stares up at the moon and wonders–will she ever look back?  But she is.  She is always looking back.

————————————————————————————————————————————–

Darien contemplates his relationship in the second arc of Sailor Moon, when King Endymion of the future stirs nightmares within him that influence his confidence in how safe he can keep Serena while continuing to be with her.  Ultimately, he leaves her.

Their break up is driven by romance and pure intentions.  It was anything but selfish.  Serena is lost and disoriented, but refuses to give up the pursuit of the man she knows happiness with–the man she lives to love and protect.

A part of me thinks this for myself.  A foolishly faithful part of me believes he has left me in earnest for my own good.  A part of me believes he is still single and lonely, and he only tries to push me to move on by making me feel otherwise.  He is not hurting me, he is encouraging me to find someone who can give me everything I deserve.  I can’t give up on him.

If only such a beautiful romance ever truly existed.

The things that make me happy.

Last night was not a good night.  Of the 26 ounces of cherry vodka in my cupboard, I drank about 18-20 of them.  In about an hour’s time.  And that just wasn’t a smart thing to do, especially for someone so new to drinking.  Apart from my killer headache and my feeling like puking all day, I’m feeling a lot better tonight.

Hah.  No I’m not.

So, tonight I remember the things that make me happy–the things I need to rediscover in my life.

I’d like to start off by saying I’m presently nourishing my lonliness with eggnog and cheesecake.  These are things I love!  But boy are they making me feel repulsive.

If I’d only had more time to myself tonight, next on my to-do list would be to push my couches together in front of the tv.  The “boat”, we would call it when we were little.  I would get my kittens settled in the boat, and I would turn on some Harvest Moon.  A Wonderful Life is my absolute favourite, and I’ve been meaning to replay it, or at least finish the file I started some 6, 7, 8 years ago.  But I also love my Animal Parade!!

Why I love Harvest Moon:

There is always happy music playing.  Always.  And I can marry the cutest guy and have him say sweet nothings to me every morning, even though it gets a little redundant.  But hey, redundancy is bliss!  Oh, and I get to whistle along to all the pretty melodies as I love and care for my children, crops, and animals.  Who needs Zoloft when you have Harvest Moon!

After logging a few hours on Harvest Moon, I would then proceed to putting in my favourite movie or watching something on Netflix as I doodle or colour or something.  I love the quiet evenings in, colouring by lamp light!  So much pleasure is to be had!

Why I love drawing/colouring:

I’m very much into observing the progression of things.  I love to see what old people looked like when they were young.  I love to anticipate what young people will look like when they are old.  I like to reflect on how dirty my apartment was before cleaning it.  I like to close my book at random intervals and see how far along my bookmark has moved.  I like to watch my piece of paper flourish in lines and colours.  Progression makes me happy.

Next on the list, I would turn on some 2NE1 and break out into random dance at my favourite songs whilst preparing for bed.  I am the Best, Follow Me, I Love You–any and all of them!

Why I love dancing:

Believe it or not, it is not an artistic expression, (all my artisitic capabilities are invested in my drawing–a.k.a. holy mother I’m a bad dancer) but rather a form of… exercise?  I love the look and feel of my fatigued muscles.  I feel great about myself after dancing around to awesome music.

And alas, I finally curl up in the boat with my kittens and fall asleep to Sailor Moon.  Maybe my girls will be so tuckered out themselves at this point that they’ll actually let me snuggle them against my chest.

Why I love Sailor Moon:

This show is so endlessly uplifting.  It always reminds me what it means to be a good person–and a strong person–no matter what the circumstances are.  It makes me remember my past (nostalgia!!) and it makes me feel better about my present.  Heck, maybe it even makes me hope for my future.

And these are things that make me happy.  Who the hell even needs friends!